- Ted-ious!Okay, now that I have drunken a couple of beers it may be the right time to review Ted, the box office smash hit-comedy written and directed by the man who gave us "Family Guy" and "American Dad", Seth MacFarlane. Political correctness is of course thrown over board in this crude, obscene and ultimately tedious film.
This is an R-rated comedy that really isn't for kids even though the set up may suggest something else. Like in "Toy Story" or the less prestigious "Indian in a cupboard" it all starts with a young kids dream that his stuffed animal would actually be alive. The boy in question is Mark Wahlberg as John Bennett who discovers that his wish has come true and that his teddy is able to talk and think and drink ... and behave like an asshole ... . It is a fucking miracle and John's new best friend is soon a famous TV sensation. The two grow up and spend every fucking day of their fucking lives together. It's not quite clear whose fault it was but both Ted and Marky Mark never got quite passed their teenage years. He is a dreamer, undisciplined, childish, aimless. And Ted? Well, he is a fucking teddy bear - but not the cute and fluffy type. He is rather a drug-abusing, sex-obsessed, foul-mouthed monster whose only ambition in his teddy-life is to hang around with his best friend, consume drugs, pick up women and watch movies. But this has to change if John wants to keep his relationship with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) intact.
Like with so many "Family Guy-" Episodes, Ted provides a couple of really funny gags but the rest of it is just a waste of time. The hugely successful comedy has about three good laughs in it and some other lines that we have literally seen in MacFarlane's TV-series before. It's quite interesting how recognizable MacFarlane's style is here. I wonder if that means he is a true original or that he ran out of ideas for new stuff and just got repetetive. Anyways, the few hilarious moments in the film could play on youtube as a clipshow and would be equally satisfying. But since this is a feature film we now have another 90 minutes of plot to get through.
Blimey! The teddy-bear aside, this is one of the most formulaic love stories I have seen in a long time. The moment Ted left and Mila Kunis appeared on screen the film descends into a horrible borefest. Not that looking at Mila Kunis isn't enjoyable for a couple of minutes ... but the plot is so lame and so predictable and most of all so in the focus. I am not sure about this but I felt like the movie spent more time with the relationship between John and Lori than with Ted. She enforces his transition to a sincere man and demands that he has to get more distanced towards Ted to grow up. But even though Ted is soon out of the house the two buddies still meet regularly and John falls back into former behavioural patterns again and again. Is it just Ted's influence or his own fault? Anyway, John finds himself in crises and even his superman-like hero Flash Gordon doesn't help him further. Then Ted returns in a moment of realization.
To speak in the movie's favor: it is not making any secrets of its sillyness. All the good bits are full on and the high level of self awareness is present throughout. Alongside there are tons of references to other movies that may be fun to spot for the geeks. But it's all a form of compromise and just not enough. They will give you the laughs for something in return. In this case that means to take the loss and accept the story that the makers had to put around their jokes. But it's really not a good deal. You have to ask yourself if you want to sit through 110 minutes of film to find that out. Ted is a fad! It is like someone who tells everyone that he has this brillant joke but it takes a long time for him to tell you and after countless minutes of impatience you find out that the punchline wasn't worth the wait.
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