Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

ZERO STARS

I was never a fan of Transformers before the movies. I was not a fan of the first part to say the least.
But compared to "Revenge of the fallen" the predecessor was more than acceptable.

This one was destroyed by the critcs ... and rightfully so. I forced myself to sit through this overlong piece of trash.

This movie is the epitome of stupidity and remembers me of the question and concern why movies like this make millions ... billions of dollars at the box office (see the new Twilight movie just made 140 Mio. in the opening week). 'Why?' I asked myself. What is so attractive about these films that lack any sophistication in content AND technique? I mean there are escapist no brainers out there that are actually good.

This is a sterile exercise in special effects gimmickery without reason or rhyme.
The story of the giant robots can't transmit any emotion. It is dumb and still manages to be way too complicated for this type of film.

Once more the world is in danger of being destroyed by the evil Decepticons.
A weird code that Sam (Shia LaBeouf) has the key to shall lead them to a mysterious object of great power. Of course Sam and the Autobots have to fight back and save the world.

That is a very short description of the sometimes confusing plot, but it's also all that is relevant.

This mess goes on for unbearable two and a half hours of repetetive, noisy robot-action. A horribly paced bore without any substance. You can literally feel and also see how bad not only the story but also the execution is.

This is what is so irritating because at least on a technical level there should be a standard that is achievable. Keep in mind that it's not like there are a bunch of amateurs who don't have a clue of what they are doing. This is a professional filmcrew with a 200 million dollar budget and still this is meant to be the result?

The film somehow brachiates through the plot from one action scene to the next and every one of them feels like the previous, without any sense for necessity, timing or meaning.
Many cuts and shots feel incoherent. There seems to be no need for many scenes that often only contain a really flat joke (e.g. unknown soldier in a helicopter).
Or remember this scene. Shia La Beouf and the team is driving through the desert. It's one of the short slower moments and they are about to explain what they are gonna do next. Within the sentence we all of a sudden clumsily switch into a totally dispensable, out-of-place chase scene with the local police that is over again just a minute later.

Incoherent nonsense reigns in the Transformers universe. The boring special effects that we already know from the first film can't help to create any amount of interest either and aren't even nice to look at. It is useless, joyless gimmickery.
On top of that we get a load of unfunny, annoying, immature humor and some embarrasing scenes that make you wanna run away (for instance a whole sequence when Shia La Beoufs character is visited by his retarded mum at the college).

Michael Bay has not made a good film since "The Rock" back in 1996 (and probably won't make a good one any time soon). That one had high energy, good action and a sympathetic, entertaining duo of two HUMAN characters as the catalyser which is why this film worked and really well for that matter.

At least he is not planning to do another Transformers movie for now. A relieve if you ask me.


Edit: It is now confirmed that there will be a forth film in the series. Sad day for western cinema.